Many people indeed have a too-limited view of intimacy. For most of us, the idea of intimacy is something limited to the four walls of our bedroom, but that’s not the full picture. Intimacy means emotional intimacy, care, honesty, and supportiveness. If you can blend those things together in your relationship, physical intimacy as an expression of real feelings becomes so much more possible and enjoyable.
Unfortunately, many couples who encounter difficulty or incompatibility in the bedroom may try to treat the symptom, not the cause, which includes a lack of everything we’ve outlined above. As such, rekindling that spark sometimes means working on the strength and fundamental pillars of your relationship, and then using that as a platform to express your love more naturally. Moreover, feeling comfortable, in control, or willing to let yourself go requires a certain degree of empowerment, which requires trusting intimacy.
In this post, we’ll discuss how to achieve that, either with a new partner, revivifying the connection with your current partner, or even finding someone new:
Communicate Well
Intimacy is all about communication. Sometimes, that’s not verbal. But it’s important to be able to say anything and also make clear where your boundaries are. If you can do that, then you can avoid over-intellectualizing your intimate moments, and not feel as though you haven’t expressed your desires or what you want. Too often, couples can move ahead without really connecting intimately due to a lack of honest communication. You have to be willing to be a little awkward, to sound a little silly, and to have fun regardless. If your partner can’t reflect that, this could be a sign of difficulty.
Practice Self-Confidence & Self-Love
Your partner could do everything right, but if you feel unhappy and uncomfortable with yourself, you might not give all of yourself. For this reason, it’s good to invest in your own self-confidence and self-love. That might involve having certain boundaries with a new partner, to begin with before you get more comfortable. It might mean investing in lingerie or bralettes to fully express yourself in that space. Perhaps it may even go a little further than this and mean addressing your issues with yourself before you can fully be open to your partner. For some people, this means making changes that make them feel more comfortable with themselves whether this is through something like cosmetic surgery or even just making some lifestyle changes. It could be being vulnerable and discussing that vulnerability with your loved one. You may be surprised just how well that works.
Don’t Try to fit A Specific Mold
It’s easy to think that you have everything figured out, but people are still learning new things about themselves and their journeys as they get older. It’s good to be open-minded (though still know exactly where your boundaries are), and to express this with your partner. It’s also important to note that fitting a certain mould isn’t always healthy. For example, you are well within your rights to refuse intimacy and talk through the reasons why, without having to justify yourself too much. This way, intimacy is less of an obligation or box you have to tick, and more of a mutual connection you share without worrying about what a friend might say, or fulfilling some arbitrary standard. If you realize everyone is different, then perhaps you and your partner can connect more clearly out of that sense of unique comfort.
With this advice, you’ll be certain to feel more empowered in any intimate setting.
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